Going Thru the Motions
by AliceWarwillow
Summary: -Deadliest Catch- Edgar is willing to put things behind them, but is Alice? Edgar/OC  Rated M for later chapters...
1. On The Edge

-Untitled-

-DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters in this story, other than Alice Redfern, nor do I make a profit from writing/posting it.

It was a rainy and dreary day when the crew pulled on to the docks of Seattle's Puget Sound Bay.

"So, where do you guys want to go for a drink? I hear the Hillstrand's are coming in thru Seattle, so it might as well be a club," stated deckhand Matt Bradley, walking on to the deck of the Northwestern and the Hillstrand's were known for their partying ways.

"Well it's not a club, but I know of this awesome little bar," responded Jake Anderson.

"Name?" questioned Nick Mavar, Jr.

"How about it'll be a surprise and the first rounds on me," stated Jake with a smile plastered to his lips, knowing that the first round was free for fishermen.

"Fine, but it better be a good one," snapped Edgar Hansen. It did not really bother the rest of the crew seeing as Edgar seemed to be in a continually bad mood. What was amusing to the crew was how Edgar deemed a bar to be "a good one." That one requirement? It had to serve Moxie.

After donning their nice clothes, nice meaning not _that_ stained, the boys headed out to the bar, or club, or where ever, Jake was leading them. The location of the watering hole seemed vaguely familiar to the Hansen's, but it was something they could not place. Walking down an alley way, the bar sign came in to sight. 'The Fleet' with a Celtic trinity knot was lighted in neon green, Edgar's face paled visibly.

"No, we're not going here," objected Edgar.

"It's been years Edgar, shut up," quipped Sig. Edgar grimaced but headed inside. Inside the crew was hit with a wall of smoke; this was the last bar in all of Seattle to allow smoking inside.

Walking up to the bar, Jake leaned over the bar to get a better look down the crowded counter.

"Well, well, well; and what _exactly_ are you tryin' ta do?" came a distinctly British voice from behind Jake, whose eye's went wide.

"Trying to find you, of course!" smirked Jake giving the woman a big smile and a hug just as big. Alice quickly hugged back before pulling back and holding Jake at an arm's length away.

"So, ya' here by yaself or did ya bring me som' eye candy ta look a' while I work?" questioned Alice giving Jake the biggest grin. Jake in turn, turned around to look at his fellow crewmates and captain.

"No, no eye candy." Alice tried to look, but a noisy group of college students decided to walk in, obscuring her view.

"I'll take ya word for it when I see it fer maself. But till then what'll it be?"

"Pfff, hell if I know, but let's try a crown 'n coke for myself, a vodka- sprite, and two Guinness's. Oh, almost forgot, do you have Moxie?" Alice stopped what she was doing at the last order but quickly resumed. Grabbing a Moxie from the fridge, Alice slammed the can on the bar counter.

"Ya lied ta me," but Alice would not explain herself as she stormed off to the backroom to have a fag. It may be okay for patrons to smoke here, but if you were working, you had to take it out back.

Jake wanted to ask what he had done wrong, but left it at that. Grabbing the drinks, Jake went to go find the rest of the crew who were sitting at the far end of the room. As Jake was placing the drinks in front of their respective drinker, Edgar noticed something odd about the top of his Moxie can. Edgar sighed at the note scribbled on the top, realizing who still worked here.

"What's up Edgar?" questioned his eldest brother Sig, who was sipping his vodka and sprite; pleasantly surprised that it was made with Norwegian vodka, Svedka to be exact. Edgar flips the can towards Sig, who read it out loud.

"Fuck deg? Hmmm, so she does still work here," smirked Sig, evilly.

"What does it say?" asked the curious Jake who did not speak a work of Norwegian.

"Fuck you," replied Edgar, popping the top open, but the carbonation had not settled yet from its abuse on the bar counter, spraying its contents over the intended target. Edgar wiped his face of the foamy substance before taking a chug of the Necco flavored soda.

The crew soon forgot about the soda incident and was drunkenly laughing it up, except for Edgar, still drinking his Moxie.

"Hey Eggy, be a man and get us another round!" poked Sig at 'Eggy' who was getting up to go take a piss. Edgar mumbled a 'Fine' before headed to the loo. After relieving himself, Edgar headed to the bar to order the drinks.

Reaching over the bar, Edgar tapped the closest bartender's shoulder.

"Can I get a crown 'n coke-," but was cut off.

"You tappin' on my shoulder 'aint goin' ta get ma attention," said Alice, turning around coming face to face with her Moxie prank.

"- a… vodka- sprite…," trailed off Edgar, at seeing the prankster. Alice had not changed much since Edgar last saw her, but to him, she looked completely different. Edgar remembered the small girl with long flaming red hair and a face dotted with freckles. The freckles were still there, but the red hair had been cut closely to her head and she was not so small any more, standing at five foot seven inches, and a healthy 140 pounds, Alice had some muscles to say the least. Also adorning her head was scaffolding piercing in her left cartilage and sticking threw the right lower part of her lip was a ring. The upper portion of a much larger tattoo was sticking up through the side of the collar of her tee- shirt as well as descending her arm in to a full sleeve.

"You've got some balls Edgar Hansen, ta come through those doors." Edgar was speechless, and that was saying something for the deck boss who _always_ had something to say.

"… Two Guinness's… and a… Moxie, preferably not shaken," finished Edgar, still not able to comprehend _who_ was standing in front of him. The little girl who always saw them off on a fishing trip and the first person to greet them as they can back as a child was gone and was replaced with….

"Edgar! What's taking so damn long?" Matt practically yelled as he walked up to the bar. "Oh hey Alice, looking rather stunning tonight," Matt complemented, not really looking at Alice, but at Edgar, who was looking at the Moxie in his hand. "Dude, that's what you're supposed to say to a woman who looks like she is about to rip your head off."

"Shut up Matt, you're not helping," said a sullen looking Edgar. Alice deftly turned around to finish the drinks before snatching the money out of Edgar's hand. Taking the drinks, Edgar headed back to the table, leaving Matt with the fuming Alice.

"You know, he still likes you. A lot," tried Matt.

"Hey Matt."

"Yeah?"

"Shut up," and with that Alice left to help another customer.


	2. Blood and Roses

-DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters in this story, other than Alice Redfern, nor do I make a profit from writing/posting it.

Hours passed and soon the bar was only filled with the fishermen who were about to head up north to Dutch Harbor in Unalaska, Alaska. The fishermen were just as rowdy, if not rowdier that the usual "hipster" college student crowd, who only came in to drink Pabst Blue Ribbon and Red Stripe. Alice had always wondered what it was with the beers that had colors in the names. There was a new comer in the group of captains, Blake Painter had recently been promoted to Captain of the Maverick for the Red King Crab season, but he only looked out of place as he was just as rowdy as the deckhands. The other captains were more subdued, talking about the fishing grounds or their gear.

"Let's make a wager," suggested Blake.

"Can't, not everyone is here," explained Sig.

"Just for the night then."

"Fine, what did you have in mind?" questioned Andy Hillstrand, who had shown up with his older brother Johnathan an hour before, sitting back in his seat, he would do anything for money; well, nearly anything.

"The red- headed bartender, whoever can get-"

"Stop," said Sig, but Blake continued.

"- a kiss, phone number, anything from her; drinks don't count." Sig glanced to Edgar who was staring daggers at the young and obviously ignorant captain.

"How much?" questioned Andy, ready to get this show on the road; Sig's look of distrust towards Blake went unnoticed.

"$200."

"I'm in," stated Andy, placing his $200 in the middle of the table, followed by Johnathan, and even Phil Harris of the Cornelia Marie. Blake put in his $200 and all eyes were then on the Hansen brothers.

"Nope," stated Edgar simply, he did not want to die today, but was shocked when he saw Sig place $400 down.

"You're in whether you like it or not." Edgar groaned and finished off his Moxie.

* * *

Another hour passes and no one was any closer to winning the bet, the conversation had turned to a more suggestive manner and Edgar was not pleased at who was at the center of this topic.

"Blake, shut up," said Edgar, finally growing too annoyed with the boy.

"Awww, c'mon Hansen. Why so flustered? You don't have a wife to hold you back."

"Just shut up," growled Edgar.

"You wanna make something of it? Why don't you _make me_ shut up," the drunken Blake nearly yelled, standing up and leaning on the table.

"You know what, _du unyttige stykke shit. Du frem rotet med mig? Du ikke fortjener å bli høvedsmannen, du pucken aseninnen lite hanen ut som liker å ta det opp asenet. Du er som tykke som kunstgjødsel og bare halvparten som nyttig_," rambled the angry Norwegian. This, however, set Blake off, dragging Edgar out of his seat. Blake, throwing the first punch, landed squarely on Edgar's jaw, throwing Edgar back and in to, thankfully, an empty table.

"Hey!" yelled Alice as she witnessed Edgar landing in to a table, but she went unnoticed by the patrons. Alice hurried over, grabbing the metal bat from under the bar, hoping to get there before Blake beat the shit out of Edgar, who was getting no help from the other fishermen, not wanting to get involved. "Hey!" yelled Alice again, getting the attention of the captains and deck hands, but not Edgar or Blake. Grabbing the back of someone's collar, which happened to be Blake's, Alice threw him off of Edgar and landed on to a table covered with glasses that were waiting to be bused; but that did not deter Blake who got up and rushed Edgar, who was currently standing with the help of Alice, who also did not notice that Blake was still standing. Alice was pushed back as Blake crashed into Edgar. Sig caught Alice, who was about to fall, but was shaken off. Clutching the bat, Alice stormed back to the fighting duo, Edgar mainly defending himself, his Norwegian way telling him to beat the shit out of the youngster to teach him a lesson but the other side of him telling him that Blake is drunk and does not know what he is doing. Alice once again, pulled Blake off of Edgar and spun him around, landing a perfect right hook in to Blake's jaw. Getting his attention, she pushed him back again with the end of the bat.

"And what the _bloody hell_ do ya think you're doin'?" questioned a furious Alice.

"He start-," Blake started.

"Shut up, it was a rhetorical fuckin' question!' roared Alice. 'You obviously weren' bloody thinkin," seethed Alice. "Now, as for that bet that you _thought_ was so clever and sneaky…." Alice walked confidently up to the bruised and battered Edgar, placing a searing kiss on the lips, which was made even hotter as her free hand went to the back of Edgar's neck and found its way in to his hair. Pulling away from his lips, Alice pulled his head closer to her ear. "I expect at least 25% of that," hoarsely whispered Alice. Edgar only nodded as he removed his hands that found their way to her hips. Not even moving away from Edgar, she reached around him and snatched the top $300, folded it and carefully placed it in the front bra strap before walking away; only to return with a broom. "Now, _Captain_ Blake Painter, I expect ya ta clean up the mess ya made," said Alice as she shoved the broom in to his hand.

"Dust pan?"

"Do you think you _deserve_ a dust pan?"

"Well how else-"

"Stop. Just shut up. No, you're not getting a fuckin'_ dust pan_," quipped Alice walking away. Blake only stared at the back of her head as if she was crazy. "If you're a real crabber, then ya'll figure somethin' out," and walked over to the front door to flip the sign from 'Open' to 'Closed' and promptly lit another fag.

Walking back over to the bar, Alice tossed the white wipe- down rag over her shoulder as she started to put the pony glasses away that her fellow bartender had cleaned.


	3. Could Be Happy

-Untitled-

-DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters in this story, other than Alice Redfern, nor do I make a profit from writing/posting it.

It was another half hour before Painter finished with his task and walked over the bar to return the broom.

"Now, wot did ya learn?" asked Alice. Blake stared blankly at Alice, not realizing that he was supposed to learn something from this, or what he could have learned. "Just get the fuck out, and never come back," stated Alice rolling her eyes at the green captain. The Harris' and Hillstrand's had left shortly after the small brawl, not wanting to even tempt Alice, leaving the crew of the Northwestern to remain, who were trying their best to pick up the remaining empty beer bottles and glasses from the rest of the tables.

As the final glasses were put away and the crew slowly filed out of the door, Alice was left to code the building.

Walking out the door, a cold breeze rushed over Alice. Turning the collar of the heavy black wool pea coat up, Alice saw movement to her left. Shoving her hand in to the pocket, Alice clutched the switchblade.

"I don't think you're going to need that," came a growly voice.

"Edgar, you should have learned by now not to stand in the shadows." Edgar came in to the light at his name, and then leaned against the lamp post. Alice walked over to him, lighting up her last smoke. Standing in front of him, Alice turned her head and blew the smoke out of her nose. Edgar; however, had different plans. Grabbing the sides of her head, Edgar forces Alice to look him in the eye. Gently massaging her temples with his finger tips, Edgar tentatively leans in, placing his lips on hers, waiting for her to respond; to hit him, to push back, but hopefully to kiss him in return. But nothing of the sort happened.

Alice stood there in shock, not even realizing that she had just dropped her cigarette. The kiss in the bar was nothing, it meant nothing. It was only something she did because she knew that Edgar would give at least part of the winnings in return for a kiss and she did not know the others well enough to kiss them and kissing Sig, well it would be like kissing a brother, and that was something Alice did not want to experience.

Edgar pulled back, the look of disappointment carved in to his face. Alice's eyes were wide open.

"Sorry 'bout that," apologized Edgar, releasing Alice from his grip and briskly walked past the stunned Alice*.

Alice did not know what to make of what had just happened. Edgar, Edgar Hansen, had just kissed her, kissed her on the lips. Turning around, Alice spied the leaving forms of Edgar and Sig Hansen, who must have stayed behind, probably to make sure that Alice did not kill Edgar, or to see what he was doing. Alice had assumed that the others had gone ahead to the boat. Alice leaned against the light pole in much the same manner that Edgar had done not moments ago. Trying to clear her head Alice shook her head and brought her hand up to her lips, trying to take a drag on her now nonexistent cigarette. Looking at the hand awkwardly placed in front of her lips, Alice groaned, turned, and walked in the opposite direction of the Hansen's and headed home.


	4. Laffitte Don't Fail Me Now

-Laffitte Don't Fail Me Now-

-DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters in this story, other than Alice Redfern, nor do I make a profit from writing/posting it.-

-A/N: Okay, so it has been a while since I have posted anything… let alone worked on this. I am currently on vacation and got bored and can't sleep. I cannot guarantee that there will be any more posts for a while as school will be starting up again soon.—

Alice tossed and turned for a majority of the night, sleep would not come easily for the 30-something woman. Edgar's actions still ran through her head relentlessly. Edgar had never been known to be a man of action, and to do something so bold was entirely out of his character. She had wanted to push him away. What he had done to her was unspeakable let alone forgivable.

It had been a rainy day the Northwestern came back into port on that 'fateful day' nearly a decade ago. Alice had not been able to get to the dock when it arrived; Alice thought she had told Edgar that she would not be coming, and to go home and that she would make it up to him.

Alice had pulled up into his driveway much later than she had expected, the rain had been torrential and caused flooding on many roads.

Slipping the key that he had given her before she left, into the slot, Alice quietly unlocked the door and slipped inside putting her soaked Army green duffle bag down next to the door. Alice ventured further in to the sparsely furnished house. Edgar never needed nick-knacks lying around. Hearing a noise coming from his bedroom, Alice headed in that direction.

"Edgar?" questioned Alice, getting closer to the door. The noise had not stop, and seemed to intensify. Alice would have assumed that he went straight to bed, wanting to catch up on all of the lost sleep. Grabbing the door knob, Alice swung the door in, "Edgar?" Alice questioned again.

Alice only stood there, not able to do anything. "Edgar?"

At the third time Alice said his name, Edgar finally looked up and over to Alice in the doorway. All motions stopped and the woman beneath him gasped and attempted to cover herself up with the sheet that had slid down the bed.

"I thought it was supposed to be the other way around?" Alice finally got out. Turning quickly on her booted heels Alice bee-lined it to the front door, dropping her key on the counter as she passed it, picked up her duffle bag and left.

Alice had driven around Seattle blindly, unknowing of where to go. The original plan had been that she would stay with Edgar; that was reason why he had given her a key three years ago.

-  
"Just let me know when you get back, a'right?" questioned Edgar, grabbing Alice's chin, lifting it to look her in the eye.

"Of course," Alice responded.

Alice had enlisted in the Army two months ago and was currently leaving off to basic training. She and Edgar had just graduated from high school yesterday. Taking Alice's hand, Edgar gently rubbed the area between her pointer finger and thumb

"And don't forget to keep in touch. I'll have to keep you updated on all this Hansen news now."

"I won't," Alice could barely hold his gaze. She felt guilty for leaving. But she should not. The Hansen's left for months at a time to go fishing.

Edgar quickly pulled Alice in to a tight embrace, seeing all of the other recruits head for the bus. Pushing her back, Edgar took a good long hard look at the girl that he grew up with. Alice was confused with all of the sudden movements and snapped her head up, looking Edgar straight in the eye.

Edgar did not know what came over him, but he did it anyway. Pulling Alice back in, Edgar tentatively placed his lips on hers. Sure they had kissed before, they were technically dating, but Edgar did not want to rush this moment.

"Don't forget," Edgar called out as Alice walked towards the bus, putting her Army green duffle bag in the underside of the bus and silently got on to the bus.

-  
That had been fourteen years ago, and even since she stepped foot on that bus, it was as if Alice's life was on fast forward.  
-

Alice had flown through basic training with flying colors and had already been given an assignment. She still kept in touch with Edgar, however it was not as much as she would have liked, but they were both busy, either because of training or fishing.

Knowing that they would be out fishing, Alice called the satellite phone to inform the Hansen's of the development. Ever since they were young, they had always considered Alice a member of the Hansen clan so it only seemed fitting that they be left breast of her life and what was going on in it.

"Alice is that you? You'll have to hurry, the weather is getting really bad really fast," explained Sig in a nearly yelling voice.

"Sig, I won't be coming home. I've been deployed. They're sending me out in a week and they want me to stay on base. Please tell Edgar that—" But that was Sig got before the line tapped out and the connection was lost. Alice sighed and hung up the pay phone, allowing for the next persons use.

Sig had relayed the message to the rest of the Hansen's but it had been too late.

The scouting mission that Alice and her crew had been assigned was relatively boring, and their captain was always trying to life their spirits.

"So how has everything been at home Redfern? Redfern?" Alice did not hear the question that her captain had asked her as they were patrolling a local area.

"Hmm? Oh, I don't really know. I haven't had the time to talk to them since we got over here, but I'm sure everything is fine," Alice did not really want to talk about herself, but her captain had talked to her before about being too quite. They understood it, that she was a person of few words, but others got nervous around her and that was not good for anybody. "How's the wife been?" turning the attention back on to her captain.

"Oh, you would never believe how big she's gotten! Think Goodyear blimp, but don't tell her I said-"

"Shots fired! Shots fired!" came over their headsets. Immediately they took cover, only having heard the words. They had broken in to two groups, and they were group one, which meant….

"Frankie and Scagnetti, sir," yelled Alice as the shots rang out just down the street, which had been relatively deserted. Captain signaled Alice to cover him and quickly dashed in the direction that they would be. They continued like this for a couple of blocks until they reached where they should have been, if they had been keeping pace with the captain and Alice, but they were nowhere in sight.

"Sir," whispered Alice, only loud enough to get his attention, the motioning to a door that had round upon round shot through it. Captain nodded and allowed Alice to enter first.  
-

That was all Alice ever remembered. The doctors and therapists said that it would come back, but that it would take time. Fourteen years was some time. Getting up, Alice headed to the bathroom. Staring at the reflection that looked back at her, she could see the dark circles that were already forming under her weary eyes. Opening the medicine cabinet, Alice grabbed the Nyquil and quickly fangled it open only to take a swig. Placing the still open bottle on the counter, Alice trudged back in to the room flopping down on her now strangely comfy bed. Nyquil was always her drug of choice when she needed to pass the fuck out.

Soon enough, Alice fell into a dreamless sleep.


	5. Sail

Sail

Alice had not been the only one to get little to no sleep that night. Edgar laid wake, his eyes blood shot from the combination of the smoke constantly In his eyes and lack of sleep.

Last night had been one hell of a whirl- wind. It had been a very long time since Edgar had seen Alice. God, she had changed so much, and yet he could still the small girl with her flaming red hair in pig- tails, running around jumping through the freshly made mud puddles. The first thing he had noticed about her was the lack of hair that was darning her head, remembering all of the times that he would run his fingers through her flaming locks, Edgar subconsciously ran his own fingers through his own hair. Realizing what he had just done, he gets out of bed and heads to the bathroom.

Splashing some water on his face, Edgar looks into his reflection. Maybe he should have tried to keep in contact more than he had when Alice had left. He remembers the day when she had sent him an address. He had written for the first couple of weeks, but life caught up with him and the letters slowly became less and less, until they stopped completely. But it was a two way road, and he rarely got a letter, let alone a phone call.

He had gotten a phone call a week before Alice was scheduled to come home, but it was not her voice that came through the speaker.

-  
"Hello, this is Dr. Caroline Lamb, may I speak to a Mr. Edgar Hansen?" asked the disconnected voice.

"This is he," Edgar said without hiding the weariness in his voice. How could he? Coming off of red king and then heading in to cod tendering without so much as a break, it was exhausting.

"I'm calling because you are listed as a contact for a Corporal Alice Redfern. She is due back in the States in a week and I was told to tell you what to expect for a first timer," she sounded nervous.

"What, what are you talking about? Why the hell are you calling me? I want to talk to Alice," Edgar ranted.

"I'm sorry, sir, but Alice is unable to come to the phone. But please listen, she was in an attack and was severely injured—'the doctor rambled off what Edgar was to expect, but it barely penetrated his thick skull. 'Did you get all of that Mr. Hansen?" Dr. Lamb finished.

"Yeah, yeah. Will I need to pick her up?"

"No, she will be dropped off."

"Oh, okay."

"Have a good evening sir."

"You too." Edgar was still reeling on the first sentence the doctor uttered. An attack? How could he not have been notified? And it took them this long to let him know now? Edgar remembered that the kind doctor had said something about being missing. Aren't they supposed to let loved ones know anyway?

Edgar did not know what to think. In a dream, he grabbed his jacket and keys.

Splashing water on his face once more, he grabs a hand towel and dries off and shuffles back in to his bedroom.

Tomorrow, tomorrow he would go back. He needed to now, he had already put one foot through the door.


	6. Rugla

Rugla 

The next morning was full of hangovers and weary deckhands. The night before had been long for everyone as gale force winds swept thru the harbor, causing the boats docked there to strain against the ropes holding them in place. Many of the ropes had snapped, causing the men to work anyway to replace the ropes that had snapped like floss. Once they were able to hit the racks, the boats still rocked back and forth, causing the effects of a hangover to appear early.

The crew of the Northwestern was awoken by the smell of coffee wafting into their rooms. Edgar, being the only sober one the entire night, was able to wake at the normal hour and get the day started. Sig wandered in to the galley to see Edgar with his head resting on the table, his hand clutching the mug with a death grip.

"Edgar, did you even sleep?" Questioned Sig to his weary brother. An incomprehensible muffled answer came from the deck boss. "Are you still thinking about last night?"

At that Edgar's head picked up in a flash. He had his plan, no one else needed to know about it, not yet. Wordlessly Edgar got up and headed out on deck. There were chores to be done, and he was the only one awake enough to work the crane. Sig only stared at the back of the retreating Edgar. He knew something was up. He always knew when his brothers were up to something, but he would let it be for now. He only hoped that no one would get hurt.  
-

The day passed with a speed that was unfamiliar to the crew. They had woken up minutes after the exchange between Edgar and Sig and had immediately gone on deck, mechanically going through the motions of what needed to get done; check the hydraulics, check half the pots, fuel the boat, check the main engine, et cetera. The sun was beginning to set and the crew had gone inside to get some food in them before they passed out.

Edgar had gone in to make the dinner and had already eaten and snuck off the boat by the time the rest of the crew had come in to eat, but not to fret, he had left everything on low to keep it warm.

"Hey, where's Eggy?" questioned Norman, filling his plate up with the warmth of home.

"He has an errand to run. He'll be back later tonight," stated Sig, following in Norman's steps at the heaping portions he helped himself too. Filling out paperwork and signing his signature is very exhausting, and he would only continue it tomorrow and until they reached Dutch Harbor.

Sig did not even know where Edgar had run off too, but he had a general idea.  
-

Edgar stood outside the fire engine red door, staring up at the green sign. Sig had kept in contact with Alice more than he had, not that they shared information on what they talked about. He had known that Alice had opened the bar, but had never gone in till last night. Taking a step forward, Edgar grasped the golden doorknob. There was no turning back and he knew it, but his motions seemed to come to him in slow motion. Trying to break that feeling Edgar pushed the door open with all of his might, causing it to slam open abruptly, as the feeling went away. He looked up as he noticed everyone staring at him. He looked down sheepishly and quietly shut the door behind him. Taking off his jacket, he hung it on the pegs next to the door.

For the first time, Edgar truly looked around the bar, walking to find a seat. He looked at all of the old photographs of fishing vessels and their captains, past and present, noticing that his father was up there, along with Phil, Andy and Johnathan. Moving further down, there was a newer photo of one that looked like he had already seen before. Looking closer, ha noticed that it was of the new Northwestern crew; Sig standing proudly with his arms crossed, him and Norman standing on either side along with Nick and Matt. Jake was notably absent. Getting to a segment of the wall, Edgar had to stop and only stared. It was a team photo, the same one that he had taped to his bunk wall. Surrounding it was additional photos, head shots of each of the persons. All but one. Edgar looked over to the bar, noticing that Alice was looking at him, no, through him. As Edgar moved more, to fully face the bar and to shove his hands in his pocket as deep as they would go.

His movements caught Alice's attention. The look in her eye's was one that he had seen before, one that he promised himself that if he ever got the chance, he would never allow her to have again. Swallowing hard Edgar walked carefully up to the bar and took a seat.

Wordlessly Alice placed an iced glass and a Moxie in front of him, cracking it open effortlessly and pouring what the glass could hold, setting the rest gently next to it.

Wetting his pallet, Edgar took a brief sip, wanting to say something, anything to Alice before she dealt with another customer.

"I'm sor-, "but that was as far as he got before Alice held her finger up.

"No. I'm not ready to forgive you. Not yet. You have a lot to make up for." Alice said, shaking her head before walking away. Edgar would talk to her before he left.  
-

The night was slow and uneventful and Edgar was making sure his soda lasted him. Closing time was upon them and Edgar walked out, grabbing his jacket, making sure to put it on a button it before heading out in the blistery weather.

Instead of hiding in the dark he chose to sit in the bench that was located right outside. Lighting up, all he had to do now was wait, but the atmosphere was not as nice as it was inside as a slight drizzle began.

"Shit, are you kidding me?" Came a frustrated voice. Edgar did not need to look up to its owner. The door closed and Edgar knew that it was his cue. Standing, Edgar took the fag from his mouth, rolling it around in his fingers.

"I'm sorry." Edgar was able to get out before she could stop him. Alice turned to look up at the man who was standing closer than was necessary.

"You should also know ta not stand so close behind me, numba one way that I'm goin' ta kick your arse." At that, Edgar took a step back, not wanting his ass kicked, and he knew she could do it.

"I'm sorry." Edgar repeated. Alice stared down at the red glow that was down by his side, watching with the ash fell to the ground.

"I'm not going ta accept it, you know."

"I know, but I still need to say it and I will say it a thousand times over."

"I know." Edgar took a tentative step forward. When Alice did not move, Edgar took a bigger step, closing the distance, wrapping his arms around the woman, dropping his fag in the process. Alice did not re- act, Edgar could only breathe a sigh of relief that she was not going to punch him. Alice did move abruptly it was because the drizzle became a steady rainfall only to quickly become a down pour, quickly soaking both of them to the bone.

"I know it's a little late but… welcome home." Alice moved her head to look up at Edgar, slightly pushing him back, but moving her fingers deftly into a grip. Thinking that Alice took it the wrong way Edgar's face became sullen. Moving at lightning speed, Alice pulled Edgar in to a hug, throwing her arms around his neck. Edgar buried his face into the crook of her neck, wrapping his arms completely around her.

First foot was in.


	7. What We Had

-A/N—Hello to everyone out there that has gotten this far! I'm here to just say that there was a minor change may to chapter 5. Nothing big and nothing to go back and completely re- read, but I made a slip up, forgetting that Edgar do not drink alcohol. I have only changed how he got red eyes to being in a room that seems to be completely filled with smoke (and of course the lack of sleep). Thank you for reading and please continue. A review would be nice, need to know if I'm doing things right.

Radio Kaliningrad

The chill of the weather soon got to the 'canoodling couple'. Pulling away, Alice looks down, shocked at what she had just done. She was supposed to be hating on him right now, not hugging.

"You should probably head back to the boat. I'm sure Sig is wondering to where you've run off too."

"You should probably get out of the rain."

"You too."

"Heh, it kinda comes with the job description of being continuously wet,' smirked the deck boss, as he put his hand to her hair, ruffling it uselessly to get the rain water out of it. Looking down at the soaked woman standing before him, his smile disappeared. 'Maybe, maybe we can start over…," Edgar suggested. True, the time they spent apart was long, but the moments that they shared together could never be forgotten.

"No, there are too many things between us, and you know that. I should get headed. Be safe fishing."And with that Alice walked away. Turning around, Edgar headed back to the Northwestern. Sig would be leaving in the morning and there were still a few minor things to do and get before setting sail.

The next morning was uneventful. The crew awoke smelling the deliciousness that is coffee and bacon and prepared to set sail for Dutch Harbor. As the boat was leaving, Edgar went out on deck, looking through the crowds on the dock, hoping, wishing that a certain someone had come to wave them goodbye, like the good ol' days. Edgar stayed out on deck until they were completely out of the harbor, but even then, he still did not want to go inside. Not yet. He knew Sig had figured out his little plan last night by the looks he had given him that morning.

Heading in side, Edgar knew he had to deal with it at some point.

She had been standing off to the side, a mass of people always in front of her, keeping her out of view of his roaming eyes. Alice did not want Edgar to know that she had come to the docks that morning to see them off. She did not want to give Edgar that kind of hope. It was hope that he did not deserve yet, in her eyes at least. Watching as the Northwestern sailed away, Alice stayed on the deck as long as it was still in sight, only leaving to go to the bar once it was but a small dot on the horizon. Walking away, Alice's mind turned to their past.

Alice did not believe what she had just witnessed. She grabbed her keys and bag and walked out the door. She was thankful that the vehicle that had dropped her off had not left yet. The driver got out of the car.

"Alice? What's wrong?" He asked, concern going in his eyes as he saw the tears falling down her face. After all that she had gone through, this was the first time he had seen her show this kind of emotion. She had been like a wall in the hospital, never showing when she was in an excruciating amount of pain; or her joy when they were going to release her and allow her to come back to the States.

She dropped her bag where she stood, her arm finally becoming tired from carrying it, and rightfully so, seeing as there were still a line of stitches running down her forearm. The driver quickly walked over and picked up the bag, placing it in the trunk.

"Come on. Let's get you to bed," said the driver, comfortingly putting a hand on her lower back, easing her to the passenger side. The tenseness that occurred at the contact did not go unnoticed. Alice plopped herself down, allowing the door to be closed for her. The car started up, and silently she drove off in to the night.

The driver drove in to the darkness, every now and then looking over to the distraught passenger.

"Do you have anywhere else to stay?" he asked and immediately regretted it. Alice solemnly shook her head 'no'. The driver nodded, and pulled out his phone, sitting at a stop light he quickly pulled up a browser, searched and selected, following the directions to the hotel it gave.

The golden cursive letters that made up the Hotel 1000 sign came in to view and the driver turned the corner, pulling up to the sweeping glass awning. Alice could not believe that the driver would bring her here. As she got out of the car, the driver noticed the look on her face.

"Don't worry. It's on the government's dime." He said, swinging the bag back out of the trunk, allowing her to lead the way inside. Reaching the front desk, the driver pulled out his identification, flying through the registration. Giving the bag to a bus boy, he turned to Alice, who only looked around at the marvelous lobby. Looking to the driver, he guided her upstairs to what the hotel classified as Grand Luxe Water room. Passing her the key, the driver looked to her.

"Get some sleep. And don't worry about it. Everything will be taken care of." He said, placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder, turned and began his decent down stairs.

Opening the door, the sight of a king sized bed came in to view. Walking in, a small seating area appeared, as well as the breath taking view of Elliot Bay and Puget Sound. Lights from the boats and stars intermingled. Turning around, Alice noticed that her laptop bag that she must have forgotten in the car the first time was sitting on a desk, her bag already placed in the closet. But what she really needed after everything that just happened in the short time span of 30 minutes was a shower. Sliding the frosted glass door open, her eyes were greeted with the sight of a pedestal claw footed tub. A content smile found its way on to her face as she started to the tub.

Going back to the closet she found a plush robe. Stripping right there of her clothes, she kicked them in to the corner, wrapping herself in the heaven that was the plush softness. Returning to the bathroom, she noticed the complementary soaps and shampoos. She did have her own, but they were unscented, standard issue, nothing she wanted to bath in on a regular basis when she did not have to. Slipping in to the warmth, Alice submerged herself, staying down for as long as she could. From her time overseas she was able to hold it longer than most. Opening her eyes under the water, a face flashed before her eye, a face that she had never hoped to see again. Pulling herself up, she gasped in the fresh air. Closing her eyes, Alice settled herself back, resting her neck and shoulders. Tonight she would take the drivers advice and relax. Looking out the window the steady and calming blinking lights of boats relaxed her into a trance, but before she fell too deeply in to it, the need to feel perfectly scrubbed and clean over took.

Taking the wash cloth, Alice lathered it and began slowly and gently, wanting to scrub harder, but was afraid of damaging the still fresh scar tissue. Working her way up Alice had to become even gentler. Reaching her arm and chest she was sure to steer clear of the stitched running from the top of her shoulder down to her chest and on to her sternum. Alice started on her back, unsure of where to be careful, Alice went harder that she should have. Gasping in pain, Alice removed the washcloth and reached her arm back as far as she could. Bringing her fingers back, she saw them coated in blood. Sinking farther in the tub, Alice decided that she was done for now and would relax, taking in the sight and smells of the night.


End file.
